Today was a hard day for me! I felt distressed and confused, i seriously didnt know where i belonged. All my friends stayed in the library at recess and lunch studying and me of course, doesnt want to spend the rest of their life studying. But at lunch because i had already barged my way in to someone elses group of friends i went to the library to see my friends. But they didnt even talk to me they just basically studied. So i left them, when i was on my way out of the library, i realised i didnt have a destination, somewhere i could feel comfortable. But i went back to the barged in group and i barged in again but i didnt feel right.
I felt like an outsider. To be honest i am seriously considering dropping out and doing school at tafe. But i dont know how i will tell my parents and family. To be honest everyone at school has a place but i feel lost, today when i was trying to figure out where i was gonna go exiting the library i nearly burst into tears. I have honestly had enough of this!! I dont want to feel this way anymore and i just want to enjoy my life. Before i decide to drop out i want to ask my mum to set up an appointment with a phychiatrist or therapist or watever. Because im gonna explode, i want to have fun and enjoy everythig with my friends but im too overwhelmed.
To be honest the closest person i am with is Jessica and lately i feel like im a nuisance. I dont feel like i should bother her like i do. I feel completely sorry for her, thats why i havent really spoken to her today. I dont want to go to school tomorrow cause it actually scares me.
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