Valentines Day

I want him to make the first move, to show me he likes me but I know this wont happen. Today I saw Jessica wrote something on my book to tell me and at first I had no idea what it said but she wrote it again and I thought it said Nikola hooked up with Vivian and to be honest I was angry, I could feel my mood going down and down but then she explained that it said Thanh was looking at me which honestly happens a lot but I try to seem blank. I'm sorry to say this but I don't really care about thanh and his feelings towards me because I only seem to care about Nikola's. He makes me go mad!! its like he has some kind of control over me! His eyes make me melt and his smile kills me! But from what I thought Jessica said how do I know he doesn't have feelings for Vivian or he may have already hooked up with her?! All these questions and I'm never going to get an answer! But as I said I am getting over him! like on the process to getting over him. So this since this morning yes I have been getting over him, like I don't speak to him, or try look around for him and in classes ignore him and not speak or look at him! So I kind of did it all day today, but in English I spoke to him and it was about work of course but he made eye contact with me and I couldn't help but smile. And also Oskar was looking to and then something weird happened, probably my imagination but I had a feeling they were talking about me and blah blah. Now I also had the next period with him and he was smiling the whole time and looked fine and well in this class again like the last class he asked to hand out the sheets, now the main point is he ASKED to hand them out himself. and he did and went around the room handing them out and then he gave ours and as per usual I kept talking to my friend next to me, trying to ignore him. He went to back to sit in his chair but he seemed down now. He went from this happy laughing guy to a sad depressed one which I noticed and got worried Haha I felt like going up to him and giving him a hug cause I couldn't bear the sight of it. But he sat in front of us in class and I just kept staring at his back. But at first I didn't think it was anything and said to myself stop and just do your work Cheanda! One of the guys in class made a joke and all his mates laughed and usually he would laugh but he seemed down as I said. I am guessing his friend Oskar noticed cause a little while after asked him what was wrong and basically just talked in whisper mode and I couldn't hear so I am not sure what Oskar said cause after he slightly went back to normal and all the guys kind of cheered him up. So I realized that if Nikola ever had a girlfriend or say found out I liked him and turned me down then I would cry. and that would make him the first guy to make me cry over them! And this is the first time I have ever got this serious over a guy. To be honest I am afraid of getting hurt. Because I don't want to be hurt because of him. Tomorrow is Valentines day and I am handing out roses at school and I always hope I will get a rose from someone and usually someone I like but this year I am dreading Valentines day because thanh may give me a rose and I don't want him to! or Nikola may not give me a rose which I am fine with but him giving a rose to someone else which makes me sad. I am dreading the say so much because its a day about couples and love and like and blah blah while I sit miserably alone at home. I just cant wait till the day is over!!