Insecurity

Insecurity, this one word describes how i feel alot! I dont feel confident, strong, happy and let alone, me! I feel like i have lost myself a bit. I dont feel confident and strong enough to stand on my own, take my life into my own hands. I am scared, i have already classified that but i dont feel like i have moved forward. I feel like im stuck in this one spot waiting for someone or something to help me move forward.

I am insecure, about my body, my personality and who i am. I dont feel right and i dont know how to make myself move forward and take a leap. I have tried to try new things but they dont work out for me! I feel like everyday im playing charades with everyone around me and myself. Trying to figure out where i am at this point in time and where i want to be. Everyone has wants and everyone has needs but i dont feel like i have either. I feel like im running in this one direction trying to get to this one point but actually im here stuck in the same spot running to nothing.

I remember when i was younger i felt way more confident and myself. I felt like no weight was on my shoulders and i could run to wherever i wanted to be. In the movie twilight: eclipse One of Bella's friends explains how people ask us each time in our lives what we wanna be when we grow up. And now that we are growing up they want a serious answer but i dont know! She says 'nows the time to make mistakes, time and time again. To grow and learn so when they do ask us we will know! But i feel like i dont want to make mistakes and take risks i want to stay at home in bed with my laptop and books and just stay there and not face the world cause im scared and insecure of what people will think of me!