Likes

I like chocolate, i like dogs, i like roses and i like Nikola! This boy causes me so much trouble!! I cant seem to have a moment of peace without him popping up!

Well today i found out, that one of my friends (we arent that close) likes him, well at least i think so! I had alot of opportunities to speak to him today but i didnt :( i feel so stupid that i cant do a stupid simple thing like saying "hi"! but know that my friend Vivian likes him makes me feel insecure and makes me feel like i cant and shouldnt like him! Cause shes so outgoing and outspoken while im very timid and shy (sometimes)

I know the reason im shy at the moment is because of the party! It muddled me up!! I feel like everything i say and do will be judged! Today i kinda ran into Jono and i think he wanted to speak to me but i kinda escaped it! I think he knew i didnt want to speak to him but he kept looking back at me which was so strange!! If he only knew how i felt about the biggest douchbag in our year *Nikola*!!

When i was younger i remember just randomly going up and speaking to him. He didnt mind and we enjoyed each others company. But now i have changed and become this timid shy girl! I want to change back into my old shell and become more outgoing and fun! I cant seem to do that anymore :( I can feel he wants to speak to me but whenever i did i would just give him one shot answers and run away! Before i used to keep the convo going and just carry on like usual.

I hate feeling hopeless, fearful instead of fearless, i overthink way too much mow and just makes my mind become all muddled up, i wanna feel like i have nothing to lose and i can just be good old me again :( But right now i feel like i have a lot more to lose than i did when i was younger!! Tomorrow is the last day before workplacement and its time to try become the old me again!!